Watch and Tell Workshop (with Reena Agrawal) Report

Watch and Tell,
An interactive workshop cum competition.

Political Science Association, Wilson College, Mumbai

In collaboration with the Department of Sociology

Session Name: Watch and Tell 

Guest Speaker: Reena Agrawal 

Date: 6th March, 2021

Time: 4:00 to 6:00 PM 

Attendance: 54

Watch and Tell, an interactive workshop cum competition, was the 6th event in the Gender Prism series that the Department of Sociology had organised. While all the other events were organised and carried out by the Sociology Department itself, Watch and Tell was in collaboration with the Political Science Association. The session started out with a warm welcome by the Sociology Head of Department, Muneerah Khambawala, and was then closely followed by the national anthem. Effectively having set the day’s proceedings into motion, the treasurer of the PSA, Keisha Singh, then went on to introduce the participants to the Chief Guest, Mrs. Reena Agrawal.

Thanking everyone for the warm welcome and reminiscing upon her days in Wilson College, Agrawal ma’am began to recap what the session would encompass and how it was to go about. She emphasised upon the fact that the participants would be doing a layer by layer analysis of the short clips and could then begin to build an understanding of how pop culture really affects our perspective. The session then formally commenced. 

The first short-film, an advertisement by Biba named ‘Change the Convention’, was displayed on the screen. The group that was to analyse and dissect the film was aptly called Team Honsla, comprising Shravani Pawar & Shamshegir Shaikh. Bringing a fresh perspective forward, Shamshegir explained that it is not only women that understand their own plight; men can also raise their voices against these evils and empathise with their counterparts on issues relating to, but not limited to, marriage. He pointed out that in the video, the prospective groom’s mother, a woman herself makes light of the fact that her son cannot cook. Shamshegir was perplexed that she could not see how wrong that was of her, especially since there are so many expectations placed on a woman, but none on the man. He explained that women themselves should step forward and bring their own gender’s issues to the forefront, and named Savitribai Phule as an example. His teammate, Shravani, added that she used to think along similar lines, that men are not as sensitive to women’s issues, but she’s recently unlearned this perspective. She applauded the fact that the man has an attitude of growth, that he’s willing to learn and prove himself worthy. That he’s willing to shoulder the responsibility and the extreme expectations that come with marriage proposals, and not let them burden only the woman. 

Agrawal ma’am appreciated how they noticed that the man’s mother herself found it funny that her son did not have basic skills, but she went on to point out that it is not only the mother’s fault and should not be her sole responsibility. Why, she critiqued, was the father silent? It showed enabling; that the father himself does not work in the kitchen or contribute to any household chores, hence his son is not expected to either. The girl’s father, who at first presented himself to be quite an authoritarian figure, comes to her defence. Again, however, Agrawal ma’am emphasised: it was the man who spoke up, because women still don’t have the agency to defend their own rights and wishes. Women are still considered to be at the bottom of the hierarchy. Something else that also caught her eye was the fact that the ‘first dekha’ is at the bride’s house, when societal traditions expect women to leave their maternal homes and move in with the in-laws? Shouldn’t it be a woman’s right to see the house she is expected to spend the rest of her life in? 

Muneerah ma’am agreed whole-heartedly, adding that the girl didn’t say anything at all, nothing except for a side glance at the boy, and a smile at the end. This reiterated the fact that women don’t have the freedom to express their own wishes, that even liberation comes at the cost of a male perspective. She talked about how mother-in-laws are usually always blamed and painted as so-called ‘vamps’, but that is not how reality works, it is simply another notion of the patriarchal structure.

After concluding the discussion from the first short, also including pitch-ins from other participants about their own views and perspective of the Biba advertisement, the platform opened up to all. The facilitators would now show a couple more short films that the audience could then talk about. 

The second short-film was called ‘Others’, a product of India Tomorrow. Alongside it being incredibly moving and eye-opening, it was based on the real life story of K. Prithika Yashini, India’s first trans woman sub-inspector. A lot of critique and observations came flowing in via the chat-box, with Ankita, a Wilsonian, asking if it is truly fair for a child to be brought up and to have to live in a family that is so hateful and unaccepting of who they are? This opened up a long-fledged discussion. Ma’am added that the concept of such binary gender came to be in the Victorian era, and that the third gender of the non-binary had always been a part of society until then. Despite the many hurdles, changes are slowly coming about, and there have been massive movements to get the third gender included in official forms and institutions. Woefully, she admitted that it is only in the past decade or two in which they have been the most shunned and ostracised from society, pushed to the boundaries like this is not their home too. Sana, president of the PSA, highlighted how the trans women commented ‘How can you throw us out? We were never let in to begin with,’, and despite this lack of acceptance, they are ready to bring a barely one-day old into their lives with open arms. That despite their own trauma, they are looking out for the coming generations, breathing into them a promise of better lives. 

The third video, titled ‘Why do Indian Men Want a Virgin Bride?’, followed a more informal style of an interview, where strangers are asked questions about their viewpoints on the topic at hand. While anger and frustration were popular emotions among the attendees, Disha pointed out that men, as a result of patriarchy, are pressurised to prove their masculinity by having sexual relations with other women. Shravani followed by agreeing, and further declaring that one’s virginity is the least important thing in maintaining a relationship; it’s their nature and their heart that matters primarily. She stressed that virginity does not define one’s character. 

Reena Agrawal observed how a women’s virginity is a fickle concept that is not a good measure of anything, either. The breaking of the ‘hymen’ can also occur while performing strenuous activities like exercising, certain sports, etc. It is truly all about the fact that men accept that their wives and/or partners have had sexual relations with someone else, and that they are not their ‘firsts’. Possessiveness and the male superiority complex that treats women as objects that can be owned, their ownership transferred, was brought up time and again by many people in the meet. 

Ma’am mentioned that the most shocking revelation of all is that the younger generation is perhaps more ‘scandalised’ by the prospect of being associated with these so-called ‘loose women’. If something is to happen, parents can be forgiving and understanding after a certain point of time. It is the youngsters who are most affected by being affiliated or related to someone who had open sexual relations or encounters. This is worrisome, she said, since this is the coming generation that harbours such toxic mindsets. While girls are still more advanced and accepting, boys tend to be a little touchy about the subject. This ties in with the ‘ownership’ aspect, how a woman’s doings are brought back to the men she’s related to, how it affects their reputation. 

Ultimately, the consensus was that a lot of it stemmed from the lack of a proper sex education and the increasing effects of toxic masculinity. 

The last short, once again based on the real-life story of Gauri Sawant, came from Vicks. Titled ‘Generations of Care’, it follows the story of how despite providing all the love and care that any mother would, Gauri is not granted the legal right to adopt her daughter. Unlike the previous videos, this one was followed by a sort of silence. Picking up on this, ma’am observed that the story was something so beautiful and moving that it needed mulling, not active discussion. The participants had all sorts of praises for the piece, lingering with a sort of sadness about the misgivings that led to its making. Single parenting was discussed, alongside talks about how being a parent is not about one’s gender, only one’s nurturing characteristics. Gauri, who played herself in the short film, had all the maternal instincts, all the love that one gives to one’s child. She took her daughter into her home, into her life, and put her first in everything. Yet, the state has not granted her the legal right to make her own daughter her heir. Shravani mentioned how in an interview, Gauri had said that ‘she had the heart of a mother, but not the womb’. 

Concluding the discussion with her own additions, Reena Agrawal ma’am asked for take-aways and pointers from the workshop. Several attendees said that they found a new way of thinking, that they understood even better how society should be gender-inclusive, giving each individual the agency to decide for themselves. It showed people that being respectful of others’ choices and their livelihoods is a beginning, yes, but we need to be more openly supportive of it too. The workshop provided everyone with a different perspective towards the same incident, and helped them look at the world through sociological and political lenses. 

After a vote of thanks from Ankita Lokhande, the session came to an end.  The Department of Sociology distributed certificates to all the participants.

- Atiya Memon, FYBA

Social Media & PR Head (PSA)