RURAL INDIA: Issues, Challenges and Solutions with Namita Waikar. (Report)

 Single Parenting 

Ramani M. / 5th January, 2023/ Wilson College, Mumbai.

‘Single parenting’, common right? What do all of us really know about single parenting? Firstly, before we stress our brains to answer this question let’s consider one more question in frame. What are we all taught about single parenting till date? Well the question itself is invalid. Single parenting is known only by those who have been raised by a single parent or are single parents themselves. Schools taught us two types of families; nuclear and joint. The concept of single parenting is as alien as the concept of mental health and sex education in schools.

One can say that the term ‘single parenting’ itself says it all. But that’s not how it works. In single parenting everything is doubled. Single parents struggle to give their children everything what all other parents give their kids altogether. In most of the cases single parents only aim to give in all their energy and their whole lifetime for the betterment of their children. Some of them choose to be single parents when most of them don’t really have a choice.

Now the question isn’t about how they became single parents. It’s about how we should normalize single parenting. Single parents are often gawked at in the society. Especially when it comes to Asian countries to be precise in India, people don’t really willingly accept the existence of a single parent around them. People here are sexist and judgemental. They are not willing to know any sort of back story. If a man is a single parent, he shall gain the sympathy of all the masses around him. But if it’s a woman people will not only pity her but also have second thoughts, as to why she isn’t with her husband anymore, is she of good character, is she the one responsible for her situation right now and the list of second thoughts go on. A single parent isn’t really treated right by the society especially if it’s a woman. She will not be considered in social gatherings organized for women no matter if she is married or a widow or a divorcee. People can be judgemental to any extent possible. Some people even outcast single parents in the PTA groups at schools.

Single parenting is a journey full of tremendous struggle and immense sacrifices. At the same time these parents are always insecure about their parenting. At a certain point they always feel incomplete or have the feeling of missing out something in the upbringing of their children. Like if he’s a man he shall tell himself at least once in his lifetime that his children would be totally different individuals if they had their mother and the same goes with the woman.

Everybody does big and small mistakes in their childhood. But if children raised by single parents commit one of the tiniest mistakes, even before correcting them these parents shall blame themselves and then question their own upbringing. Most of the single parents are strict towards their children. Not because they have the fear of losing them but to make them better individuals and to make sure they won’t end up taking wrong decisions in their life. Most of the single parents are helicopter parents.

 

A ‘helicopter parent’ is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institution.

 

Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they “hover overhead”, overseeing every aspect of their child’s life constantly. Helicopter parents are the kind of parents who are extremely possessive and obsessed about their children and their lives. These parents have created their own little world with their children. Cause their family consists of only their children and they themselves. Such parents have the chances of developing the empty nest syndrome when it’s time for their children to leave home and explore their own lives. Some of these parents even try to not let their children go away from them. During such times these single parents need to have a strong support system around them. And that is why a famous African proverb says that, “It takes a village to raise a child”. That means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment. The support system of these parents is everybody around them it may be their relatives, their friends or even their parents. No matter they have raised their children on their own without taking anybody’s favours, moral support is something that doesn’t cost money and it should be readily given. The bottom line is, single parents do live a happy life irrespective of the ups and downs they’ve faced as single parents because they’ve given in their life to see the happy faces of their children and everybody should appreciate their efforts and accept single parents with their realities and treat them as normal people in the society.

 

Keywords

single parenting, parents, 'helicopter parents', relatives, stigma, society, environment